Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Why the journey?

I'm not beginning this new journey just because it's a new year. I'm beginning this journey because I'm tired of being less than God intended me to be! A little history for those of you who don't know it...I began married life in 1993 and only a couple of months after the wedding, I started having lots of "female" problems. I got sicker and sicker...no periods, weight gain and more and went from DR to DR looking for help. Would you believe it took 8 years to get the diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome? PCOS messes with your insulin...which causes the weight gain and a myriad of other symptoms and by the time I was diagnosed I had enough insulin in my body for 5 adults!! I'll save my journey through infertility, through PCOS treatment, etc. for another post. But when I was diagnosed in early 2001, I was at my highest weight ever. I'm not quite ready to post that number yet...maybe in the future. =) Once I started treatment ( I take meds that I'll have to take for the rest of my life), I quickly dropped about 20 pounds and I vowed I'd never again weigh what I weighed in early 2001. I needed to lose about 75 more pounds.Well, 6 years later, here I am. The past 6 years have been filled with lots of stress, death, illness, a move, a personal diagnosis of a degenerating spine and a spine full of arthritis and more. Did I mention I'm only 35? At a DR's appt. last week, I was weighed. I was shocked to see that I not only weighed that dreaded number from the past, but I had added almost 7 pounds on top of that! I spent lots of time talking with my DR and that talk has set in motion my "life" makeover. No, this blog isn't going to be just about weight loss, but that's part of my "life" makeover. My DR sat knee to knee with me and looked me in the eye and said, "Michelle, you handle things in your life daily that are much bigger than your weight issue and you handle those things with grace. You are very capable. You can do this too." I told him that my weight issue (coupled with the ovarian disease and chronic spinal pain) seemed insurmountable to me. He told me that yes, I am concerned about my weight, but I put everything else and everyone else in front of myself. That I consider myself the least important. Wow. I never thought about that. Do you value yourself or do you put yourself at the bottom of the totem pole? If we don't take care of ourselves, eventually, we won't be able to take care of anyone else either.

1 Kind words & kindred thoughts::

larissa said...

Hi Michelle,

I have been amazed at the amount of people I have come across in the years since I was diagnosed with PCOS, one of them including you! I control mine with birth control as you know & I have the best of results being on that regimen. Before though, I thought I was headed for early menopause due to possibly having a premature hysterectomy in my late 20's, early 30's. I remember being doubled over when I had my periods & the heavy bleeding all which have subsided since being on the birth control. I am not sure why I get this as it doesn't seem to run in my family so I guess there is no rhyme or reason to it all. I can control it now but am probably headed for a complete hysterectomy though in the future.

I too seem to neglect myself to serve others. My girls being the perfect example. I remember one day my oldest daughter Larissa asked me why I never get a styled haircut and I never really thought about it before. I had gotten so used to meeting their needs first that I tended to neglect my own. This past December I got my 2nd professional haircut, color & style and Chuck loved it! It made a big difference. Before I would just put it up and before I knew it, my hair was almost to my behind! Now it is right above my shoulders & so much manageable. I think as women we want to nurture things and put ourselves last.

THis was agreat thread & I hope to be reading more who share these same things!

Love Ya!