Thursday, February 5, 2009

Bummed...

I'm feeling bummed this afternoon.

I mentioned in a post in December that I went to my DR for severe abdominal pain and he did the CT scan immediately and it came back fine. Then, he did a colonoscopy and it came back fine, for the most part.

Last week, he sent me to the OB/GYN who did my surgery in August 2007 (uterine ablation, tubal, d & C, drilled 50 holes in my ovaries to relieve the pressure from the Polycystic Ovary Syndrome cysts) and.... I need a hysterectomy. The intense pain is possibly from scar tissue on my ovaries from the cysts. He said because I can't take hormones due to blood clot risks, he would take my right ovary and my uterus, leaving the left ovary so that I wasn't thrown into menopause.

I don't have the pain all the time, but when it hits, it's debilitating. I can't stand straight, can't walk or sit, can't take care of my baby...it's a burning, searing pain that takes my breath away. I take 800-1000MG of pain meds at a time to get relief.

I've had a couple of episodes of the pain since I saw the OB/GYN and so I figure I need to go ahead and have the surgery. I don't want to. I hate surgery.

It's scheduled for March 2. I go for pre-op Feb. 26, the day before I turn 38.

They're going to use the da Vinci robot to do the surgery, so I'll only have to spend one night in the hospital if all goes as planned.

Not sure why I'm so bummed...it's not like I didn't already lose my ability to possibly have children in Aug. 2007 with the surgeries I had then.

I don't know. It's just one of those things.

7 Kind words & kindred thoughts::

Justina said...

Many Blessings and Prayers to you~ I can't say I know what you are going trough, but I am sure it's normal for a woman to feel that way about losing those "parts" of you. Keep your spirits up after all you do have the most precious baby girl in the world! :0) Justina

basketsnprims said...

Hi! I went through the same thing when I was 44 but I had both ovaries, cervix, uterus removed. I did go into menopause but it wasn't bad at all. I feel much safer with both gone & now I don't have to worry about cysts, etc. You are in my prayers.
Pam

Anonymous said...

I just read your blog, sad.
You know what though??
Maybe not needing that pain medication will be the best reason in the end.
But...............what do you mean you do not know why you feel that way? Girl!
WHO???? LIkes needing surgery and/or medical problems, let alone in addition to
what you have already been through?
Give yourself a bit of a break!

Michelle said...

K-I'll try to give myself a break. =)

Anonymous said...

You need too, because you have been through so much in the past and you have
gone through like a trooper and your faith never waivered and it is only normal
that you are not "happy" it was not over when you went through that horrible
surgery that held finality for you guys.

Birgit said...

Oh Michelle, I'm so saddened to come here and read about all this. You have been through so much, and winter seems to make things darker sometime. It does for me anyway.
Keep smiling at that little answer to prayer of yours, she'll brighten your darkest days!
I'll be praying for you~ Hugs~ Birgit

Justina said...

Woo Hoo~ I got your name for Angie's swap at Simple Thyme Primitives! I've started a package for you! XOXOX Justina