Bummed...

I'm feeling bummed this afternoon.

I mentioned in a post in December that I went to my DR for severe abdominal pain and he did the CT scan immediately and it came back fine. Then, he did a colonoscopy and it came back fine, for the most part.

Last week, he sent me to the OB/GYN who did my surgery in August 2007 (uterine ablation, tubal, d & C, drilled 50 holes in my ovaries to relieve the pressure from the Polycystic Ovary Syndrome cysts) and.... I need a hysterectomy. The intense pain is possibly from scar tissue on my ovaries from the cysts. He said because I can't take hormones due to blood clot risks, he would take my right ovary and my uterus, leaving the left ovary so that I wasn't thrown into menopause.

I don't have the pain all the time, but when it hits, it's debilitating. I can't stand straight, can't walk or sit, can't take care of my baby...it's a burning, searing pain that takes my breath away. I take 800-1000MG of pain meds at a time to get relief.

I've had a couple of episodes of the pain since I saw the OB/GYN and so I figure I need to go ahead and have the surgery. I don't want to. I hate surgery.

It's scheduled for March 2. I go for pre-op Feb. 26, the day before I turn 38.

They're going to use the da Vinci robot to do the surgery, so I'll only have to spend one night in the hospital if all goes as planned.

Not sure why I'm so bummed...it's not like I didn't already lose my ability to possibly have children in Aug. 2007 with the surgeries I had then.

I don't know. It's just one of those things.